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In fact, the tough love coaching I give my clients is aimed at protecting women from falling victim to such games. I’m sure female readers could cite hundreds of examples.

But from my practice, here are four of the most frequent games I see men playing: 1) The “play to lay” game.

Whether the technique works just as well when used to start conversations with men is unknown.

As women we crave emotional intimacy, so it’s not difficult for a man to combine earnest questions and over-the-top compliments to create the illusion of trust and connection that usually precedes sexual intimacy.Every person on the planet likes Thai food.” Give good profile and better email. Don’t write a five page rant about The Mountain Goats. Close with a casual question that invites a response.” • “Do not bother sending me a message that just says, “pretty.” I will not answer you.” • “Just because asking out women is more accessible online, doesn’t mean you should treat it as if you’re unemployed and dropping off a form application at every Mc Donald’s and Starbucks you come across.” Don’t present with a list of demands • “Try to not lead with a list of what you don’t like/hate/can’t stand.Also, ugh the whole line about a girl who wears nerdy glasses but also looks great in heels/knows how to be comfy but dresses killer/read the Times in bed on Sunday morning. I actually met four nice men and fell in love with one.” There is a consensus that good hygiene is important. No sweats.” • “Shower and don’t dress like an idiot.” Choosing the right picture of yourself might not mean what you think it means • “Do use pictures of yourself shamelessly holding pets or babies or reading books.It’s a huge turn off.” • “Write in complete sentences/fully spelled out words maybe?My standards are low.” • “Find more interesting descriptors than ‘laid back.’” • “Don’t use the word ‘passionate.’” • “Don’t list only physical attributes in ‘what I’m looking for.’” • “Don’t say, ‘I am looking for a woman who…’ This isn’t a cattle auction, folks.” • “Don’t tell me that you like Thai food and expect me to think you are fascinating.




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